Have you tried to show your love for your adult child by unasked for advice or motherly truth-telling? And your son or daughter reacts with anger or quiet distancing?
In this episode, Dr. McCoy suggests ways to be helpful without hurting, supportive without smothering. She talks about how to say difficult things in a way your adult child can hear them -- and when keeping quiet is the best way to show your love.
Too many times, as Emily lamented in Thorton WIlder's "Our Town", we don't see family and friends fully, truly, with love and appreciation, every, every minute. But when we do truly see and know each other in new ways, it can be a joy.
In this episode, Dr. McCoy shares such an experience from her own life, hoping that this will inspire the listener to stop and see and truly cherish the family and friends who bless their lives.
Gray divorce has doubled in the past 30 years with most happening in the wake of a life transition like an empty nest. Waiting until the kids are grown helps them feel less upset about the divorce and mostly affluent people risk a divorce in their later years. These are some things everyone "knows" about gray divorce. But recent studies have found that reality can be quite different.
In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses some new discoveries about the prevalence of gray divorce, the reasons behind it and the impact this may have on adult children and on the former spouses as they build new lives in their later years.
Dr. McCoy wishes everyone a happy holiday season and announces that her podcast will be taking a brief holiday hiatus.
What can you do when you and a loved one differ on politics or religion? Despite the fact that so many in our country are divided on these and other aspects of our lives, disagreement doesn't have to be hateful, demeaning or dismissive.
In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses five ways you can disagree and still be united in your love and devotion to each other.
What is life really like in an over-55, active adult community? In this episode, Dr. McCoy responds to a listener's request for the pros and cons of such communities and how to make the decision whether to move to one or stay put in retirement.
What makes the difference between a love relationship that lasts and one that falters? There are many factors, of course, but tender loving care in maintaining a relationship can be a key to its thriving through the years.
In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses specific steps you can take to make your love relationship or a loving friendship grow stronger through the years.
What do you do when a friendship starts to change? How do you know if it's toxic -- and what can you do if it is? Is walking away your best or only option?
In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the signs that you may be in a toxic friendship, what to do and when to walk away.
What do you do when you love your partner but aren't feeling quite so "in love" anymore. Does this mean that it's time to move on or that you're reaching a new level of intimacy?
In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the differences between feeling in love and loving your partner as is day after day. While some lament the passing of that relationship phase of delight and fantasy and hope, she points out that truly loving another can be much better than any fantasies.
Why are so many people in tears as they watch the Fred Rogers documentary "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" Perhaps some of the tears come from the realization of how much we need to learn in this age of divisiveness and distractions.
In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the essential life lessons we can learn from examining the life of this gentle, loving man.
The joy of finding new love after being widowed or divorced can be tempered by conflict with adult children. They may resent the newcomer, be fearful of how they will fit into your new life, have a strong attachment to the way things were.
In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses what to do when your new happiness puts you at odds with your adult children and how to make peace.
It's a natural cycle of life, but sometimes catches us by surprise: the time when we turn to the babies of our youth for advice, comfort and support as we feel an autumn chill. As we reach midlife and beyond, we begin to pass the torch to the next generation.
In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the emotional aspects of this transition, the challenges and the joys, with her own examples and inviting listeners to share their own.
Like earthquake fault lines, relationship fault lines lie submerged in deep but largely unexpressed feelings of anger, resentment, disappointment, distrust and disillusionment.
In this episode, Dr. McCoy talks about how these can be a threat to relationships and how to prevent these from happening.
Experiencing the loss of peers is a particularly poignant part of midlife and beyond. With some of these special people, we lose not only a treasured friend but also a part of our own history.
In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses this difficult aspect of aging and pays a special tribute to Susan Ann Protter, her long-time literary agent and a singular force of nature, who passed away recently.
This episode is a review of the book "Prayer Wasn't Enough: A Convent Memoir" by Dee Ready. While obviously Catholic in nature, this book may be of interest to a larger audience as a coming of age story.
It is a story with which so many of us can identify: dreaming a youthful dream that doesn't turn out quite the way one had hoped. We've all experienced that. Sometimes the dream can become a nightmare. Dee Ready's story traces her path from youthful idealism to disappointment, anguish and with time, mental illness. It also explores her road back to health and healing.
These days, whenever one of you says "I love you!" does it sound a little rote, a little stale? Are there other things you can say that will give renewed emphasis to your feelings of love and help your partner, life companion or dear friend feel even more cherished?
In this episode, Dr. McCoy talks about five alternatives to "I love you" that can bring extra caring, safety, intimacy and joy to your relationship.
Want to improve your relationship? Start feeling closer to your spouse? Many people think that making things better means the other person changing or hammering out agreements together. Sometimes, though, quiet, subtle changes you make in your own behavior without big announcements can make a significant difference.
In this episode, Dr. McCoy describes five quiet strategies for making a difference in your life together.
In this special edition of "Living Fully", Dr. McCoy discusses suicide: what to do if someone you love is depressed, even suicidal, or how to help yourself in the wake of a loved one's suicide.
We all live with ghosts of the past -- whether from childhood experiences, trauma or abuse or from the impact of unhappy relationships later on in life. These can impact our lives in many ways from our self-image to our ability to connect and commit to others.
In this episode, Dr. McCoy talks about how to overcome or learn to live with these ghosts from the past, how to reconcile our past with our present and find new beginnings.
Love and intimacy are not constant but recurring between times of distance or the busyness of everyday life. And too many couples panic when their ardor seems to cool and wonder if this means they don't belong together.
In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the natural cycles and rhythms of an intimate relationship, how not to panic during times of distance and appreciate anew falling in love again ...and again.
As we age, some of us develop the habit of checking out the obituary page in the local newspaper. At first, we might look primarily at the ages and, when noted, cause of death. As the ages become uncomfortably close to our own, we may find ourselves reading about another's life and, in some instances, finding unexpected inspiration.
In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses a particularly inspiring obituary she read recently -- for Velma Elizabeth Coffin Kwart, M.D. -- Dr. Beth for short -- who had a fascinating life as a surgeon, a mother, a wife, a delightful friend. She defied gender limitations of her day, spent a lifetime as a doctor serving the underserved -- Native American populations in Alaska and Arizona -- and shared her love of music with the community, with friends and family. Despite the losses of aging, she lived with gusto and grace all of her 95 years.
Dr. McCoy notes how Dr. Beth is an inspiration to all in terms of surviving and thriving through loss of loved ones, loss of heath, and finding new ways to be engaged with life in all the transitions we face through the years. She observes that, however long we have on this earth, we always have a choice. We can choose to grumble, complain and demand or we can remain fully engaged with loved ones and with life. We can choose to live with love, enthusiasm and emotional generosity through every precious day.
Most people crunch numbers and seek out financial advisors in their pre-retirement years. Many dream of relocating to a warmer climate and closer community where living might be less expensive. But what about the emotional aspects of your new life?
In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the realities of retirement and how important it is to examine your priorities, your plans to replace your job with new passions and interests. She talks about the phases of retirement: the honeymoon phase, the settling in phase and, finally, the time when you find yourself living with new limitations. It's possible to live fully and with joy in every phase, especially if you have planned for growth, involvement, giving back and finding pleasure in your retirement years.
What do you do when an adult child makes an unreasonable demand for your money, your time or other resources and threatens estrangement, no contact with grandchildren or even suicide if you don't comply?
In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses how to deal with such emotional blackmail in ways that can benefit your children, grandchildren and your own pocketbook and peace of mind.
In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the importance of mindfulness in our lives, taking time to notice small, special moments that can add immeasurably to our daily joy.
Do you have the blended/extended family holiday blues that are most common when those you love most may not love each other?
In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses what to do when holiday celebrations of family togetherness are minefields for discord, disrespect, conflict and rejection. She discusses ways you can help to make more enjoyable family gatherings happen.