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livingfullywithdrkathymccoy's podcast

"Living Fully with Dr. Kathy McCoy" is for Baby Boomers and Generation Xers who are seeking to balance their busy lives, enhance their relationships and understand their feelings. In these weekly podcasts, psychotherapist Dr. Kathy McCoy discusses issues such as how to improve relationships with adult children, deal with depression, anxiety and "emotional clutter", how to make marriage work in retirement, come to terms with troubling feelings about aging parents and the aging process itself.
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livingfullywithdrkathymccoy's podcast
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Now displaying: 2019
Nov 4, 2019

What do you do when the worst happens? What can you do when there's nothing to be done? How can you survive a tragic loss?

In this episode, Dr. McCoy shares a moment in her own life when everything changed -- and yet life went on. She offers comfort and words of hope for those grieving major, terrible losses in their lives.

Oct 21, 2019

Do you need an electronic reminder to prompt you to be kind and thoughtful to loved ones?

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses our increased dependance on electronics to see if we're sleeping well, moving enough or to find our favorite music. Why not an app for kindness? She suggests that, in addition to relying on our devices, we can tap into our own emotional resources to find ways to please, surprise and enhance our relationships with those we love. 

Oct 7, 2019

Why would anyone get therapy? This is still a frequent question many ask even though attitudes towards psychotherapy have evolved over the years from disapproval to more acceptance of professional help.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses instances where someone might benefit from therapy, how to find a therapist and how to make sure a particular therapist might be the right one for you.

Sep 23, 2019

Feeling alone in a relationship can be uniquely painful. Sometimes it happens when our fantasies of constant, intense love and happiness clash with reality. Sometimes it happens as the result of life transitions and busy schedules. And sometimes it signals serious problems.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses relationship loneliness, why it happens and what to do to reconnect and reclaim your love and intimacy.

Sep 9, 2019

It's not easy, especially for women, to say "No" when they want or need to. Social expectations are that a woman will always say "Yes" to a request. Refusing to go along with another's agenda and living authentically can be a challenge.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the power and importance of saying "No" and how to express your feelings in ways that others can hear and accept while avoiding negativity.

Aug 19, 2019

You may be blindsided or it may not be a surprise at all when your child comes out to you as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or non-binary. You may feel a confusing array of emotions -- from fear of their being hurt or marginalized to grief that his, her or their life may be quite different from the one you dreamed or you may feel mostly love and wonder how to best communicate that in this vulnerable moment.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the importance of your love and support at this time and how to deal with your feelings even as you embrace your child.

Aug 5, 2019

Coming to terms with the invisibility of aging can be a challenge, especially if you've been noted in your youth for your physical beauty. But there are advantages to evolving into another phase of your life -- and being noticed for other things -- such as kindness, wisdom or strength of character.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the challenges and rewards of discovering the special beauty to be found with quiet acceptance of the passage of time.

Jul 22, 2019

Mismatched sexual desire is not uncommon and can cause a lot of pain between partners.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy suggests questions to ask yourself about possible causes and conditions behind your dueling libidos and offers a number of suggestions for communication, compromise and true intimacy.

Jul 8, 2019

We have very special bonds with our pets, often considering them important members of the family. But many people who don't have the experience of loving a companion animal may show little understanding or empathy when we're dealing with the loss of a beloved pet and that can complicate our grief.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the psychology behind the bonds we share with our animals and how to handle the grief process, finding the support and the comfort we need during a very painful time.

Jun 24, 2019

There may come a time in our lives when our possessions cease to be a comfort and start to become an obstacle to growth, to relationships, to happiness and even to health. Compulsive hoarding is not uncommon and, of course, it occurs on a continuum -- from a bit of unsightly clutter to an uninhabitable home.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses hoarding behavior, what it is and why it happens and how to begin to help a loved one who is a hoarder. She illustrates the challenges with a story about a dear friend whose possessions are limiting his options as his health deteriorates. She also talks about how all of us, hoarders or not, need to reorder our priorities as well as our possessions as we age.

Jun 17, 2019

What lessons in love can we learn from the college admissions scandal that has been grabbing headlines in recent months? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the importance of allowing our children to experience the consequences of their choices and actions, to get experience in facing disappointment and going on. Helicopter and steamroller parents who seek to protect their children from disappointment and smooth their way in life may be doing their children no favors. Parental counsel and support for their children's dreams are certainly important. But most important of all are the lessons parents can teach their children by example -- to become good, kind and caring people.

Jun 10, 2019

What do we do when dreams don't come true? When we do the best we can and still it isn't enough to achieve a treasured goal?

In this episode, Dr. McCoy talks about the importance of embracing failure as part of the fabric of our lives. Fear of failure can immobile us and make success impossible. Learning to live with failures and imperfections can help us to learn, to grow and to discover new possibilities in our lives.

Jun 3, 2019

Women's lives are busier than ever today. In these frantic and divisive times, kindness, caring and building a healthy lifestyle are especially important for our well-being.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy interviews Susan Spencer, the editor in chief of Woman's Day Magazine, about how women can bring more kindness, better self care and heart healthy habits into their daily lives.

May 27, 2019

What is it like to be childless -- whether by choice or circumstance? 

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the assumptions we make about childless people -- about their reasons, their motives, their character and their lives -- and why these assumptions often may not to be true. She looks at the reasons some of us are childless and how, nevertheless, those without children can make warm and loving connections with the next generation.

May 20, 2019

What's the one worst thing you can do while in conflict with your spouse? Silent withdrawal. It can be an aggressive, angry silence or a conflict adverse retreat from discussion. Either way, it can preclude a resolution and drive you apart.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses how to overcome your disinclination to engage in difficult discussions in ways that can resolve issues and bring you closer.

May 6, 2019

There comes a time in life when mortality ceases to become an abstraction and is a daily reality -- as friends pass away, as we reach ages our parents never lived to see. Our health in later life is often a matter of genetic luck and, increasingly of personal responsibility as we seek healthy lifestyles to prolong the healthy years of our lives.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the importance of taking responsibility for our health, of saying and doing what we most want with those we love and of savoring each day of good health.

Apr 22, 2019

Losing the delicious feeling of being in love is a common hazard in long relationships. How can you rediscover each other and the love that seems to have faded in the routines of daily living?

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses specific things you can do to warm your connection and bring new life to a relationship grown tired.

Apr 8, 2019

Today, this minute, you can bring light to another's darkness, warmth to their isolation, making a loving connection across the years and the miles.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy suggests some of the people you might choose to remember and contact, even if they're not reachable by social media or email. These contacts, these sweet remembrances, don't have to take a lot of time -- and they can mean so very much to another.

Mar 25, 2019

Celebrities rule, sometimes quite literally, in our society and for those of us who are not famous, an encounter with a celebrity can be a memorable experience. It can be a fun story to tell, a meh moment or a less than pleasant experience one hopes to forget. In some rare instances, an encounter with a celebrity can be a life-changing event.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the lessons she has learned through celebrity encounters over the years. These lessons include: the importance of not make assumptions about another's life, not rushing to judgment about another's character, learning to make up one's own mind about an issue instead of taking a celebrity's word for it, realizing that celebrities, like the rest of us, aren't always what they seem but are much more fascinating and complex than any label -- just like us, that for some celebrities, an ordinary moment is a luxury and that kindness and compassion can make a crucial difference in another's life, whether or not celebrity is ever part of the equation.

Mar 18, 2019

Estrangement from an adult child can be a uniquely painful and lonely experience. In researching her recent book "We Don't Talk Anymore", Dr. McCoy discovered some surprising facts about such estrangements that she shares with listeners in this episode. She emphasizes that reconnecting with an estranged loved one can mean understanding why this is happening, why parents often need to be the first to extend an olive branch and how to begin to make peace with each other.

Mar 11, 2019

Are we more connected to the world and less with each other? What can you do when you and those you love spend more time staring at an electronic screen than seeing each other?

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses tech addiction and ways to establish warm connections with those we love.

Feb 25, 2019

In moments of loneliness or nostalgia for the sweetness and passion of youth, do you find yourself thinking of a long-ago love and wondering what it might be like to have a second chance together?

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the fantasy versus the reality of rediscovering a long-ago love and what it might take to give your love story a new and happy direction.

Feb 11, 2019

Have you tried to show your love for your adult child by unasked for advice or motherly truth-telling? And your son or daughter reacts with anger or quiet distancing?

In this episode, Dr. McCoy suggests ways to be helpful without hurting, supportive without smothering. She talks about how to say difficult things in a way your adult child can hear them -- and when keeping quiet is the best way to show your love.

Jan 28, 2019

Too many times, as Emily lamented in Thorton WIlder's "Our Town", we don't see family and friends fully, truly, with love and appreciation, every, every minute. But when we do truly see and know each other in new ways, it can be a joy.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy shares such an experience from her own life, hoping that this will inspire the listener to stop and see and truly cherish the family and friends who bless their lives.

Jan 14, 2019

Gray divorce has doubled in the past 30 years with most happening in the wake of a life transition like an empty nest. Waiting until the kids are grown helps them feel less upset about the divorce and mostly affluent people risk a divorce in their later years. These are some things everyone "knows" about gray divorce. But recent studies have found that reality can be quite different.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses some new discoveries about the prevalence of gray divorce, the reasons behind it and the impact this may have on adult children and on the former spouses as they build new lives in their later years.

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