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livingfullywithdrkathymccoy's podcast

"Living Fully with Dr. Kathy McCoy" is for Baby Boomers and Generation Xers who are seeking to balance their busy lives, enhance their relationships and understand their feelings. In these weekly podcasts, psychotherapist Dr. Kathy McCoy discusses issues such as how to improve relationships with adult children, deal with depression, anxiety and "emotional clutter", how to make marriage work in retirement, come to terms with troubling feelings about aging parents and the aging process itself.
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livingfullywithdrkathymccoy's podcast
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Now displaying: 2016
Dec 12, 2016

Does Election 2016 have you down?

Are you longing for the past as your life continues to change?

Dr. McCoy has some suggestions for reclaiming your holiday spirit while embracing your melancholy self and revisiting the warm memories of Christmas Past in other times of your life: the wonder of childhood holidays, the happy busyness of the holidays when your own children were young, the peace and quiet joy in your later years as you watch your children play host to family holidays and the grandchildren face the world and its holidays with wonder.

No matter what is causing sadness in the present, Dr. McCoy has gentle advice to help you use the past and your insights in the present to create a renewed holiday spirit.

Dec 5, 2016

Responding to numerous listener requests to talk about what it takes to become a successful professional writer, Dr. McCoy, the author of more than a dozen books and hundreds of magazine articles, talks about the realities of the publishing business, the challenges and the possibilities.

She gives 5 essential qualities that one must have to launch a successful writing career.

Nov 28, 2016

Some surprises of aging are happy ones -- new comfort with your aging body, new ease with the person you are -- and some are sobering -- such as an increased sense of mortality.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses a full array of the surprises that aging brings and how these can enrich rather than limit one's appreciation of life and joy in living.

Nov 21, 2016

Wondering how to get through this holiday season after an ugly and divisive Election 2016? What can you do, this Thanksgiving and beyond, to keep your sanity if you and family members have been at odds over politics?

Whether you choose to brave big family holiday celebrations, postpone festivities until later into the holiday season or skip the family festivities altogether this year, Dr. McCoy has some ideas for dealing with family differences and divides and actually enjoying the holiday season!

Nov 14, 2016

As we get older, we become more of whatever we were before.

Obnoxious jerks become more unbearable.

The rest of us? Dr. McCoy talks about the fact that most of us bring many qualities, positive and negative, to our later years. She discusses the desirability to tame the jerk in each one of us by becoming aware of and making an effort to change the habits and quirks that may be annoying to others and to build on our kindness and compassion.

She encourages listeners to come up with a list of small but positive changes that will be doable, just for today.

Nov 7, 2016

So many people -- some years away from retirement -- dream of the day they can step away from commuting, office politics and other stresses of a full-time job. They may fantasize about a whole new lifestyle, living in a resort, having unlimited time to do exactly what they want.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses these dreams and 6 realities of retirement living that pre-retirees need to know and include in their planning so that those distant dreams will one day become a reality even better than they can currently imagine!

Oct 31, 2016

All of us have stories we need to tell. In this episode, Dr. McCoy talks about the need to take time to listen to the stories of others -- not just to be kind, but also because there is so much we can learn.

Oct 24, 2016

The marriage of an adult child brings changes and challenges to parents, even when the marriage is a happy event for all the families involved.

The young couple will be grappling with the logistics of a blended life: dividing time and attention to at least two different sets of in-laws, adjusting to differing family of origin values and patterns of interaction and behavior.

How can you, as a parent, keep close when your adult child marries? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses 5 strategies for building new closeness with your adult child and his or her spouse.

Oct 17, 2016

During a lunch out recently, Dr. McCoy noticed two women who appeared to be mother and daughter at a table next to her.

The older woman spent the entire time engaging in a pleasant phone call, leaving the younger woman to stare at the table and to eat a largely silent meal.

It's easy to blame technology for intruding on our lives, but, as Dr. McCoy points out, we have choices: to allow technology to intrude, to rush mindlessly through each day, to let busyness interfere with closeness and connection.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy makes suggestions for living mindfully and what a difference this can make.

Oct 10, 2016

What distinguishes successful couples from those whose relationships disintegrate?

In this episode, Dr. Kathy McCoy, drawing on her experience as a marriage counselor and psychotherapist, discusses the qualities a couple needs to make a relationship work for both partners.

Oct 3, 2016

Just as happiness is an elusive life goal, feelings often considered negative such as anxiety or sadness, can be life-enhancing.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the up side of down feelings and why these feelings can warn us of danger or motivate us toward positive change.

Sep 26, 2016

There are some phrases that set a therapist's teeth on edge.

For Dr. McCoy, these are "That's just the way I am", "That's just the way I was raised.." and "It's my parents' fault because..."

In this episode, she discusses what such sentiments really mean to the therapist and to the prognosis of the client. She also suggests ways to begin to grow out of psychological immobility to experience the joy of taking responsibility for one's own life.

Sep 19, 2016

It's a common side effect of retirement: the emotional claustrophobia that happens when couples find themselves with more time together than they've ever had.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy suggests ways to create contentment with time alone and time together, giving each other space and freedom to pursue individual interests and, at the same time, savoring moments together much more.

Sep 12, 2016

What is your ultimate retirement nightmare? For many, it is an impoverished, maybe even homeless, retirement.

Dr. McCoy discusses such common fears and offers stories of two men who are living what we fear with dignity, peace and joy. In examining their lives and their attitudes, Dr. McCoy imagines that perhaps the thing to fear and avoid most is not financial poverty but poverty of character.

Sep 5, 2016

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses what it means to dance in the rain as the storms of life happen to us and all around us: how to find comfort in warm memories in times of grief, laughing between the waves of pain during difficult life transitions, and how to find happiness in every day life as well as in special moments.

Aug 29, 2016

Going out for cheerleading as we age can bring new vitality to our lives. Taking time and caring enough to encourage younger people on -- whether these are adult children or grandchildren, neices or nephews, young adult children of friends or young people who simply need our encouragement -- cheering on all of them can mean so much.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the importance of mentoring in all our lives -- what it has meant to us, what it can mean to others -- and the many opportunities we have to go out for cheerleading through reaching out to young people we know and to those we don't --yet.

She tells the story of a quirky little 9 year old named Ryan who was matched with her husband Bob in the Big Brothers program many years ago. Now Ryan is a psychotherapist in his thirties and a loving presence in her life.

She emphasizes how much caring and taking time to nurture others can mean to all of us.

Aug 22, 2016

Gray Divorce -- the breakup of a long marriage when the partners are nearing or in retirement age is an increasingly familiar phenomenon.

How and why do marriages of many decades come apart just at the time when the task of raising children is done, when the busy working years are coming to an end, when it's time to relax and enjoy life? There is a rich backstory behind every gray divorce.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses several case histories and the factors propelling the husband and wife to divorce court. She also looks at the health risks of marital stress and the most important question to ask yourself if you are faced with the question: "Do I leave or do I stay?"

Aug 15, 2016

Once retirement has become an every day reality rather than a dream, what realizations dawn? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses ten common settling-in discoveries that may be useful for those still working to hear. These cover finances, socializing, plans and dreams, downsizing, new choices replacing old dreams and more.

Aug 8, 2016

With couples, there are many kinds of silences. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses some of the major ones, what they signal about a relationship and what a couple can do to overcome cold, angry, uneasy, and distracted silences and how to savor a comfortable silence.

Aug 1, 2016

When your children were little, you taught them limits: not to interrupt when adults were speaking, to show respect for their elders, to pick up their toys, to hear the word "No" without backtalk or tantrums.

Now that they're grown, you're up against some limits.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses how to set limits for yourself: to express concern without overstepping into criticism and carping, to care without imposing, to support without smothering, to love and let go.

Jul 25, 2016

Women's heart attack symptoms are often quite different from those of men -- and even when they do have classic symptoms, too often they are given a psychiatric rather than cardiac diagnosis in many emergency rooms. I

n this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the symptoms women often have while suffering a heart attack. She also addresses the denial of the seriousness of the symptoms and the tendency that many women have to put other people, responsibilities and obligations first and why this can be lethal.

She tells her own story of denial and skewed priorities as a cautionary tale, urging listeners to pay attention to their bodies and to take good care of themselves.

Jul 18, 2016

Some people delight in retirement. Others find themselves desperately disappointed, finding that pre-retirement fantasies have failed to morph into reality. Whether in one's long-time home or in a new place, even in the absence of office politics and long communtes, some find that there's not enough money, that time hangs heavy or that relationships don't necessarily improve in a new setting or a change of life circumstances.

So what can you do if you're having moments of quiet desperation in what you had hoped would be your golden years?

In this episode, Dr. McCoy shares some ideas about small changes that can make a major difference in your life.

Jul 11, 2016

Have you ever avoided a recently bereaved friend or relative because you just didn't know what to say?

Or, if you're in the grief process, have you ever wondered if what you're feeling is normal?

In this episode, Dr. Kathy McCoy discusses how to be there for someone you love who is grieving or how to best care for yourself during this complicated process.

Jul 4, 2016

In this episode, Dr. McCoy reflects on the gratitude that two beloved relatives -- one still living, one long dead and lovingly remembered --expressed in conversations with her despite having significant health problems.

This brief episode is a reflection on the value of time in our lives and how we too often let opportunities to create, to express love, to enjoy life's beauty, slip away as we engage in "time killing" activities or overlook today toward some eagerly anticipated event. Dr. McCoy emphasizes the importance of every day of our lives and and the joy of mindful living.

Jun 27, 2016

If you had a less than wonderful childhood, you may be feeling many things: anger and resentment, sadness and regret as you wonder what might have been if only things could have been different.

In this episode, Dr. McCoy suggests trying on another feeling and point of view: gratitude. From her own perspective, she contends that a difficult childhood can be a gift.

Sharing the story of her own childhood experiences, Dr. McCoy talks about the advantages of those who have known early hardship: a broader interpretation of freedom, more realistic expectations of others, fierce motivation and gratitude for small and not so small things.

Each person who has grown up in a dysfunctional family has a unique story. But in sharing her own strivings for independence, Dr. McCoy suggests that we look beyond the more common complicated feelings about our origins to a perspective that uncovers our hidden strengths.

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